I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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