I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He better not be in your backpack
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
It's shark week go big or go home
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
