i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize