This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
