I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
