Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
