you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
