So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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