your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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