THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
