Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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