mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
