I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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