In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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