One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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