She's JV to your varsity
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize