And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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