last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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