On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize