Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
