Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.

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(831): View more from California

My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover

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(803): View more from South Carolina

High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.

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(212): View more from New York

She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her

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(802): View more from Vermont

Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.

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(937): View more from Ohio

and eventually we just all took our pants off

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