Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Farmville is her only friend.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
