Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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