you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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