why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
