Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
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my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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