ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
