Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
