I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
