if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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