You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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