dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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