But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
