a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize