someone get that fucking seahorse.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
