thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
