Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
