Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
