i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting married
To pizza
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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