Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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