Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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