I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize