Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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