I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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