I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
