How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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