We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
