I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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