Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
