why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Randomize
