No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
bring money and cleavage
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I will pee on everything he values.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
