Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
