I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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