You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
When are your genitals available?
You ate ashes out of my bong
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