She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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