There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
