Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
