I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
